When describing my daughter as a person challenged with depression, I often get in response a well meaning "oh, that's too bad." However, I know that most people don't really understand. They don't know how depression has had such an impact on my daughter, on our family. How could they? People don't seem to talk about depression. I don't understand why the topic is still avoided. As I talk about the subject, I find that there is so much more depression out there than I ever knew. I even discovered a history of depression in my own family, but no one ever told me.
My daughter was six years old when she first started showing signs. I just didn't recognize them. She was becoming very picky about her clothing, her food, her hair. Nothing ever tasted just right, or looked just right. She was temperamental and angry. She was having tantrums that lasted longer and longer. She was yelling and difficult. Her behavior was becoming harder and harder to control. It wasn't until she took a piece of sidewalk chalk and wrote 'I hate myself' that I considered she may be depressed. It was many more years before she started showing the more classic signs of depression - sadness, lack of motivation, lack of interest in things…
The first psychiatrist she saw diagnosed both depression and anxiety immediately. Now I know that these two things usually go hand in hand. For a period of time, my daughter talked about wanting to die. It was at this point that she began taking an antidepressant. I have never heard her talk about suicide since she started taking medication. For this reason alone, I recommend treatment to anyone with a history of severe depression.
I want for mental illness to be treated for the health problem that it is. If a child is in the hospital with cancer, people come with casseroles and emotional support. If a child is hospitalized for mental health reasons, people stay away. It makes them uncomfortable. The only way to solve this problem is to get the problem out in the open. Depression affects not only the individual, but all the people around them as well. Like any illness, it can weigh heavily on the caregivers.
My hope for the future is more conversation about suicide and depression. I want families to talk about it and to tell their children that depression can run in families. Give those children a chance to recognize symptoms in themselves. I want pediatricians to screen for mental health issues, and to discuss them with parents. I want teachers to talk to students. I want everyone to be more open about depression. Mostly, I want people to step up and recommend help to those who need it. If someone who needs help is resistant, then discuss getting that person help with their loved ones, parents, guidance counselor. Whatever it takes, make sure a depressed person gets help.
Name withheld